Do we really ask for what we want?

Tea & Toast

Are we really any good at asking for what we want?

I’ve outlined a few ‘Asking’ scenarios below that I have personally seen or been directly involved with over the past few months, some or all of them may be familiar to some in one guise or other;

Scenario 1

Person 1 asks: Do you fancy some Tea and toast?

Person 2 replies: Oh yes that would be great

Person 1: serves the Tea & Toast

Person 2: cries out, ‘eergh this toast, it’s a bit under done isn’t it’, ‘has this tea got milk in it? I don’t do milk’

Scenario 2

Person 1 asks: Build me a shed

Person 2: builds the Shed

Person 1: groans, ‘not very big is it, can’t fit the car in that’

Scenario 3

Person 1: asks ‘I need to create a website for my business’

Person 2: builds Website

Person 1: cries out, ‘why am I not getting any traffic?’

Recently I’ve been hearing two key words banded around, ‘Manage Expectations’, but what really does this mean? and how do they relate to the scenarios above? Well it wasn’t until I looked a little closer at what the ‘Asking’ problem was, that it all fell into place. A bit like the ‘Translatory Expert’, it seemed that a request or ‘ask’ was expected to be an implied virtual understanding between two parties and that the requester felt they should not have to divulge any further information in order to get what they requested. This is the ‘Expectation’ and dependent on the relationship with the requester will depend how much their ‘Expectations’ could be  ‘Managed’ i.e. a husband will know after many arguments with his wife not to leave mucky clothes lying around the house, so eventually he has learned to manage his wife’s expectation of a tidy house by being tidy without having to be asked. Unfortunately this example doesn’t help if the ‘Asker’s’ needs are not known at all, so in terms of dealing with a simple request for a chocolate bar, the requester would need to be ‘specifically personal’ regarding the type/brand etc in order to gain their desired choice of chocolate, tea/toast etc.

So in essence, if you know what is expected of the ‘Ask’, deliver on the ‘Ask’ and manage expectations, if you don’t know what is expected of the ‘Ask’, request ‘specific personal’ needs regarding the Ask i.e. on a longer time span task, check-in with the Asker regularly to make sure you are still meeting their ‘specific personal’ needs i.e. building a shed, discussing specific personal needs i.e. wants to be able to park car in it /building a website, discussing specific personal needs i.e. wants a high volume of traffic, marketing etc.

Sounds so simple, ‘Asking’ and requesting ‘specific personal’ needs, but listen to yourself one day asking for something, I wonder how truly specific your request really is and how many requests for ‘specific personal’ needs you are asked in return?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


A Writer With A Difference

Whats Really Going On?

poetry,music,sports and politics from Brotha O


Martial Art musings from a humble beginer

Nicholas C. Rossis

Dream-protecting author

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog



the imaginations that changes everything

meditative journey with saldage

a sharing of readings, thoughts, and images

Jaclyn Labrie

thoughts, poems & photography


personal style, minimalism & the perfect wardrobe

Simplicity, Directness, Freedom

domestic diva, M.D.

my mother raised the perfect housewife...then I went to med school


For the busy people who want to enjoy life.


The thoughts in my head.


Poster Art Prints


My Travel and Adventure Blog- Tales of Wild Places and Adventures

The Positive Experiment

The Experiment: Thinking Positively For 1 Year

Unabashedly Poetic

A blog about life


It's about movies, y'all.

Live & Learn

David Kanigan

The Wilden Marsh Blog

A blog about Wilden Marsh. Nature Reserve and Site of Special Scientific Interest

The Wandering Mind

Wanderlust Through Words

Amelia Andaleon's Blog

A photo journal and random thoughts by a mom needing a creative escape.

Fong Tien Arts


Living and Leading a Life that Matters


A College Girl's Adventures in Asheville.

The #1 Featured Photographer Blog on the Web!!