How do you like your eggs sir?

One thing i enjoy more than a clear blue sky is a wholesome full english breakfast consisting of black pudding, baked beans, fried bread, sausages, bacon, mushrooms and egg (I prefer to leave the tomato on hold).

Some have said that to eat heartily you should have this gorgeous meal at least three times a day, a task I have never been able to complete as one meal lasts me all day. I prefer to have such a luscious banquette at least two or three weekly. I wouldn’t lose sleep if I hadn’t had one for a few months as the waiting adds to the excitement.

Recently, I sat in a motorway services watching the assistant slowly placing my full english breakfast on a plate, my mind cried out ‘For the love of peas and rice, could you be moving any slower?’, she looked up at me and smiled and for a split second my heart jumped into my mouth as i panicked thinking she had heard my thoughts.

‘How do you like your eggs sir’ she chimed, moving the plate teasingly under my nose so I could savour the delectation to come.

‘Over-easy, thanks’, I said, I looked away sharply as I didn’t even know what ‘over-easy’ was, I’d heard it on the tv some time and thought it sounded ‘cool’, so there I was ‘feeling cool ‘ hoping and praying that I had asked for the right type of egg.

I noticed the cafe area was bustling with various groups of suits and tracksuits, must have been a big match on that day as there were several official ‘ruling the world’ types with clipboards rushing around like they were organising an ‘A list’ celebs kids birthday party. Anyway after finishing my seven second people observation, a queue had started to form behind me (suits and tracksuits). My stomach made the most fearsome noises and I was ready to eat anything (although i couldn’t eat a whole suit in one).

‘There you go love’, cheered the assistant as she handed me the tray in a raised fashion.

‘Thanks’, I replied as I started to walk away with a huge smile on my face. I couldn’t bring the tray straight down as there was a little lady in front of me and it would have bopped her on the head. So I made my way to the counter with tray raised and eventually paid for my feast.

I think its true when they say, if you are starving, everything seems like your ideal dish, reason I say this is because when I sat down with my breakfast I noticed the egg was scrambled, but how come i didn’t notice this before paying. I thought back to the assistants question, ‘How do you like your eggs sir?’ and my response of ‘Over-easy’, was this scrambled egg in fact an ‘Over-easy’ production? As I pondered, I polished off my fantastic meal and bid the assistant good day, then went in search of what ‘Over-Easy’ eggs are all about.

To my surprise there are a whole host of ways the humble egg can be cooked,

  • ‘Fried’ — eggs are fried on both sides with the yolks broken until hard.
  • ‘Over hard’ or ‘hard’ — cooked on both sides with the yolk broken until hard.
  • ‘Overcook’ — cooked on both sides until the egg white and yolk have burnt, blacken and crispy.
  • ‘Over well’ — cooked on both sides until the yolk has solidified.
  • ‘Over medium’ — cooked on both sides; the yolk is of medium consistency and the egg white is thoroughly cooked.
  • ‘Over easy’ cooked on both sides; the yolk is a light runny and the egg white is fully cooked.
  • “Over easy” fried eggs are also commonly referred to as dippy eggs or dip eggs
  • ‘Sunny side up’ — cooked only on one side; yolk is liquid; the egg white is often still a bit runny as well. This is often known simply as ‘eggs up’.

By sheer luck it turns out my correct choice of egg is ‘Over-Easy’ after all.

So for the cheery cafe assistant who served me that day, I ask one question,

 ‘How do you like your eggs, madame’


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