A young lady wanted to go to the cinema with her friends but she had a secret, for she really wanted to meet the handsome young usher who had started working there the week before. Apparently, this is a nice secret that doesn’t harm anyone.
The young usher, having served prison time for assault and battery to his previous girlfriend, holds a not so nice secret.
A young lady puts in an application for a job but gets turned down. A young man over hears the section manager debasing the young lady and commenting on how they knew she was the perfect candidate for the job but they just didn’t want her in the team. A not so nice secret.
Knowing a secret sometimes becomes a burden, so what do you do? Is spreading the secret beneficial to you or others? Should the young lady who has a crush on the cinema usher confide in her friends/family/someone, in order to gain more knowledge about him?
Being told or over hearing a secret entraps you in the burden of knowledge which some will use to favour their own ends whilst others will turn and walk the other way. On the odd occasion, action is taken to correct negative secrets, but the benefits usually are out weighed by explosive reactions and severed relationships.
So what about sharing the burden, surely this will ease the conscious mind. If you tell the secret to your trusted friends/colleagues but fall foul of their favour in the future, are you then forever watching your back for fear they spill all. No positive there then.
Maybe keeping stum(quiet) will make you feel you are doing the right thing by showing caring and discretion. If others know you know the secret (which is usually the case)then come the day of reckoning you will be called to account for your inaction(especially on a negative secret).
So where do secrets come from and what can be done to avoid them?
Well, from a young age I know I was exposed to secrets within families, friends and even the animal kingdom (I’ll come to that in a moment). At the time though I wouldn’t have thought they were secrets until the explosive reactions from those involved highlighted this fact. So I learned to be a little more tactful about my sharing, but was always confused between good secrets and bad secrets.
I remember seeing a white dove (might have been a white pidgeon, but I’ll call it a Dove for now) and its family nestled quietly in the bricks of an old derelict building, they looked so peaceful and angelic, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them as I sat on a crumbling wall nearby, eating my peanut butter sandwich.
A few days later I returned with a friend of mine and the doves were still there. I smiled at their beauty and was caught in a hypnotic trance as they preened each other ever so gracefully. Suddenly one of the birds fell to the ground with an almighty thud, having being struck down with what appeared to be a rock from the crumbling wall nearby. I shook myself from my trance and quickly turned to my friend, who stood salivating fully loaded with rocks and preparing to throw his next missile.
I grabbed his arm, but he over powered me and dashed me to the ground, ‘Vermin they are, Vermin’ he spat at me as I lay sprawled on the floor.
I had never seen his face look like that, all screwed up and spitty.
I could not save the angelic doves on that day, but learned that the development of my secrets came from deep seated fears born from having the knowledge of reactions to experiences. These affirmed reactions help to guide me on ways to deal with secrets. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes not so much, because you can never tell how a person is going to react to any given situation, so if you don’t know how they will react, you don’t know which way to go with dealing with the secret, so you end up doing nothing, which isn’t always a good thing as detailed earlier.
So can we avoid having secrets. In a nutshell…No.
But there is a motto I like and it goes a little something like this;
But Tact will never hurt me