Free Conflict Management Training Pack


I have compiled this 5 page manual drawing from my experience as a defensive tactics consultant/trainer, Self defence/Martial arts instructor.

Conflict Management spans a vast array of behavioural concepts, some of which are;

  • Assertiveness training
  • Management training
  • Psychology
  • Coaching
  • Leadership
  • Confidence building
  • Mediating

These type of behavioural training concepts have been developed to ensure individuals can cope in adverse conditions whether at work, home or on the street. 

Often there are attempts to separate conflict management techniques from self defence management, but isn’t the act of learning conflict management concepts the art of self defence?

Often I find there are attempts to rename conflict management with such names as conflict resolution, conflict leadership, conflict mediation etc, this again is an attempt to seperate the full spectrum of what is simply ‘Conflict Management concepts’ which are designed to improve your confidence and boost your self defence skills.

If you pre-empt a conlict situation through pre-training whether at work, home or on the street, you have controlled your conflict management concept.

If you are in the midst of a conflict situation whether at work, home or on the street, and are using your pre- trained skills you are using conflict management concepts.

If you are are pre -trained and dealing with the aftermath of a conflict situation whether at work, home or on the street, you are using conflict management concepts. 

So whether at work, home or on the street, it is my ultimate wish that you feel some warmth and safety in the words of my free training pack which is designed to ‘Protect You’.


Content of Free Conflict Management Training Pack:

  • Dealing with challenging behaviour
  • Assessing risk, anticipating threatening circumstances
  • Personal Safety and the Law
  • Self Management in a crisis
  • Defusing angry behaviour
  • Psychological disengagement techniques
  • Positive communication skills
  • Personal safety skills


Effective Communications

Talking is the most attractive and efficient method for resolving a wide range of violent critical situations but is not the answer for all high-risk confrontations. Your skill in communicating successfully is a prerequisite act to aid the transition of your desires onto your congregation, work colleagues, protaganist, attacker etc.

The important points to remember about conversing with your congregation, work colleagues, protaganist, attacker etc are:

1) It buys time so you can work out your defence strategy

2) It has a high record of success in resolving high confrontational situations.

Talking is one small component of your entire critical self-defence programme. To enhance your communications skills, learning how to read body language will help you to gauge their realistic reactions to your strategies and highlight their real intentions towards you.*


Space communication is communicating with others by virtue of the relative positioning of your bodies.

Reference to PY Positive Body Language.


The eyes are often called, with some justification, ‘the windows of the soul’ as they can send many different non-verbal signals.


The face has around 90 muscles in it, with about 30 of these purely for expressing emotion. It can thus be used to send many non-verbal signals, using its various features in concert.


There are many possible components of greeting as the styles vary significantly across social groups and cultures.


Gestures can also be used to display emotion, from tightening of a fist to the many forms of self-touching and holding the self.


With careful observation, emotions may be detected from non-verbal signs.


A significant cluster of body movements are all about being open. This is sometimes misinterpreted solely as indicating being relaxed and untense.


A significant cluster of body movements are all about being ready for something.


Power is often expressed in communication as a combination of strength and humanity.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


Language is related to aggressive body language, though with a less emotional content.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


When a person is seeking to trick or deceive you, they there are many different body signal they may use.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


A significant cluster of body movements are all about closing. This is sometimes misinterpreted solely as indicating defensiveness.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


When a person is feeling threatened in some ways, they will take defensive body postures.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


When a person is bored, they whole body is telling you. So if you are trying to persuade them, don’t bother (unless you are trying to bore them into submission).

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.


A significant cluster of body movements is used to signal aggression.

This is actually quite useful as it is seldom a good idea to get into a fight, even for powerful people. Fighting can hurt you, even though you are pretty certain you will win. In addition, with adults, fighting is often socially unacceptable and aggression through words and body language is all that may ever happen.

Reference to PY – Negative Body Language.

1) Crossing their arms-Defensive authoritarian stance, this is an aggressive tactic to show who is boss.

2) Hand over mouth when speaking-This is a secretive stance. What they are telling you is not the truth.

3) Arms open wide-Although this stance should convey an honest reaction, its underlying tactic is to help the  criminal get close to you so they can strike.

4) Turning slightly away from you so you can’t see their  rear hand-This stance will be seen 10 to 15 seconds   before the victim is attacked.

5) Staring just past you-This is used 3 seconds before the victim is attacked

Dealing with challenging behaviour  An Insight into the Criminal Mind

It is important not to create a feeling of hopelessness or despair for the criminal, they can be like a cornered animal. The criminal should feel that there is a way out.

The criminal’s ability to make sound judgements and to respond rationally is impaired due to a heightened emotional state, their heartbeat and respiration are heightened for immediate action. Given time this automatic function will disappear and the body reactions will return to normal.

You can help the calming process by utilising the following:

 1) Common sense

 2) Good judgement

 3) Your ability to speak to people in an unpatronising manner

 4) Effective listening and talking

 5) Avoiding argumentative unproductive conversation

 6) Present a good self-image and healthy ego.


Throughout my experiences I have found that if you as an individual are using conflict management techniques to resolve a situation, your margin for success is severely impaired if the ones you are helping or defending don’t have knowledge of conflict management techniques or don’t fully understand what you are trying to do to maintain yours and their integrity, reputation or safety. Your good work can be undone in 5 seconds flat from one wrong word or action against the buyer, seller, congregation, management or protaganist, bringing you into a state of heightened conflict.

Don’t despair though, conflict management does work and works well, just be mindful of others intentions and you should ride the wave to a safe conclusion.

See also Complete Free Conflict Management Training Pack 2 to 5




    1. Free Conflict Management Training Pack 10 « Fong Tien's Blog
    2. Secrets of Self Defence Traits | Fong Tien's Blog

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